Frozen Numbness

I awoke this morning without the intense sadness that greeted me yesterday morning.

Actually I’ve been numb for these last 13 months since I have been treating , helping , and caring for my older son Joey. All the while watching helplessly as he suffers daily with his Schizophrenia and positive symptoms.

Meanwhile these same months, I’ve been observing Noah’s Prodrome moments and wishing, hoping, and praying that he was just super stressed out and anxious about his approaching adult hood.

I’ve only been able to cry with tears about three times with actual streaming wet tears. All of these other days, I cry silently from the inside 😦

For now I have to trust that this is somehow Gods plan and he’s prepped me my whole life for this. Nevertheless I’m feeling a frozen pain today.

Well, I have much to do starting with taking Joey for his first Invega Sustena (anti-psychotic) injection shot. Angels, guides, and all the healing saints be with us please.

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