Initially, I created this as a private blog for my eyes only, to unload actual accounts of each of my Newly, back to back, diagnosed mentally ill sons. My God that was so hard to write and then read it in black and white! Shortly after creation, I have decided it would be therapeutic for me to go ahead and share my blog publicly in hopes not only for a sense of support, but that I could be of some help to others sharing similar struggles. Here I will safe-keep My Sons’ struggles, challenges, treatment and encounters with their Mental Illnesses.
So here it is;
I have been struggling inside to keep myself together, for the love of my sons. It’s taken much strength to not come completely undone myself as I process the new fact that I have not one, but TWO mentally ill sons. They were diagnosed just months apart, before I had a chance to come up for air and process my new life path.
The most hurtful hurt, atop of this already heartbreaking situation, is learning that we don’t have the support we need from other folks, especially family. The Stigma dies Sting Strongly! This has been quit an unexpected and Uninvited, feat to foot.
So, here I am, doing what I know best, writing. Transferring my pain, from ‘pen to paper’.
I’m a single Mother of four sons Ages; 26yr, 23yr, 18yr, and 16yr. Sons #2, #3, and #4 all live together with me. Sadly, Son #1 has been in Prison since he was 18.
Son #2 -Joey and son #3-Noah, (who’ve had mostly normal childhoods) were recently diagnosed with severe mental illnesses. Just weeks ago, I assumed that each of my sons’ diagnosis would be very similar because they sounded similar, but in fact the only similarity they hold is the psychosis portion. One is Schizo Depressive type and the other is Schizo Bipolar 1 type.
I named my blog House of Mirrors because from day to day, hour to hour, my sons are random with their symptoms, their moods, and their actions. I never know what each day will bring. Things around here are not always as they appear for them, as well as me. My dear sons, their world is mostly distorted.
In my ‘House of Mirrors’, I have created a separate “room” on my blog for each son;
‘Joey’s Room will have his actual accounts of his Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Depression.
And Noah’s Room’ will have his actual events of his Schizoaffective _ BiPolar 1 with Anxiety disorder.
I also created a “room” for myself, ‘Mom’s Room’, where I will post my emotional experiences and my perspective of their mental illness as I see it.
My youngest boy, (son #4) whom I’ll call “Little brother”, seems to be in the clear for now, however with all that has been going on here at home, he certainly is acting out with self destructive behavior.
If you would like to come along with me on this ever changing ride, please follow. It brings me some comfort knowing that there are people in this world that genuinely care enough to stop by and read my feelings.
Note: In reference to any prescription medications, Please do not use my post as advise to take or try. You must always seek your doctors professional recommendations because everyone is different.
Copyright © GoldenSons, and House of Mirrors, written by Candy Flowers 2018
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